Lying in bed that night, I tried to be happy for my friends. However, I couldn't shake off the terrible feeling of being stabbed in the back. The following day I sat on my bed with my head in my hands bowled over and crying over what had happened. My calico cat, Kimchi, came over and gave me a playful nudge on the hand. I ignored her because no matter how sweet the nudge was, there was no way that it would erase the emotional trauma I was feeling. I had thought that we would be friends forever.
But everything had changed now; and I grieved for the friendship that I had lost, and I sobbed because things were changing between myself and my friends that were out of my control, and I screamed into my pillow because I couldn't believe that they were keeping this all a secret from me.
When I finally stopped screaming and my voice was hoarse, I decided that I should try and do the mature thing by calling Sapphire.
"Hey," I said.
"Hi."
"So, I heard the conversation between you and Sabrina last night... I thought you only saw her has a friend."
"I thought I did," Sapphire said, "but then my feelings changed and I realized that maybe I was just in denial because I was scared. I think I want to be with her for real this time. And she said she wants to be with me too."
"I thought we were all going to be friends forever because you didn't see her that way..." I stammered angrily, "I can't believe you didn't tell me all of this sooner."
"I didn't think it mattered," she said, "the situation between Sabrina and I doesn't really have anything to do with you."
"Are you kidding me? You two are my best friends." I shouted in to the receiver. Clearly, my emotions were getting the best of me. "The two of you deciding to date - for real this time - has EVERYTHING to do with me because it messes up the entire dynamics of our friendship circle. Honestly, it messes up my entire life!" I shouted.
"That sounds like a YOU problem," she replied, her voice monotone. "You're being really selfish, Annie. I don't understand why you can't just be happy for us."
I couldn't take her bashing anymore so I ended the call. I had nothing else to say to her. I know that she's in love and seeing the world through rose coloured glasses now - but how is it possible that she can't see that there is a valid reason for why I am upset?
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