15. A Love Letter for My Platonic Friends

Dear Sapphire and Sabrina,

I know that I am probably the last person you want to hear from right now and I understand that because I haven't made it easy for the two of you to be together. But please, hear me out.

First, I want to say that I'm sorry. I know words don't mean a lot, especially if the actions that we follow them with don't change, but I really am. I shouldn't have lashed out on Sapphire over the phone like I did - that wasn't fair. Neither of you did anything wrong and both of you deserve to be in a healthy relationship where you feel loved. Additionally, I know that a fault that I have is that I am an extremely sensitive and emotional person. This makes me a fantastic writer and artist, but not a great friend. I want to work on this.

Second, I want to share my side of the story with you. As much as I don't want to victimize myself, I do think that it's important that you realize that my feelings of anger and sadness are not coming from a vacuum. I hope that by seeing the events of the last months through my point of view you can see that I never meant to hurt the two of you. I was just scared of losing you guys - and I still am.

Lastly, I want the two of you to know that I love you. You both have a very special place in my heart. Every time I see a shooting star, I use it to wish that you are both doing well. I hope that you are doing the same for me but it doesn't matter if you aren't. I know that female friendships are complex.

In the meantime, I have been trying to distract myself by going for walks and reading as many books as I can get my hands on. I am happy to say that every day the pain hurts a little less. The future for us all is still unclear, but nonetheless, I am optimistic that things will work out and we will all be friends again. 

Love always,

Annie

(Left to Right) Photo of Annie, Sabrina and Sapphire.